Questioning Happiness
by Cheshire Magic
Summary: Draco is overcome with depression. But the girl down there is happy, somehow. Named because I use the words question and happy too much for my taste. T because of drinking, cutting, and slight attempted suicide. Nothing graphic though.


Draco Malfoy was beginning to learn that it was impossible to drown your sorrows. And he was learning it the hard way.

The more he drank the more his sorrows seemed to thrive. They soaked up the alcohol like sponges and expanded until they were far too big, far too painful to live with. All his days were spent drinking and all his nights were spent crying.

Draco wasn't sure why everything hurt so much. Very little had changed for him. But whenever he questioned his actions he would think back to the day after The Battle of Hogwarts, he'd walked through Diagon Alley. The majority of the shops had broken window and their goods were spilled on the floor. A little girl, around the age of six with golden blond hair had been sitting outside a store that specialized in muggle products. When he came closer to her she curled into a tighter ball and turned her giant, teary blue eyes up to him. In a shaky voice she asked him: "Why did they kill my sister? All she did was work here." A sob escaped her. "I want my sister back."

Draco ran. Her eyes were so innocent. She didn't understand what this war was about. She couldn't comprehend why all magical beings weren't equal.

Draco felt like he was on fire. He felt like he was stuck in the Room of Requirement, like no one had saved him and he was slowly becoming a pile of ash.

He hadn't left his house since. He didn't leave his room either. His parents left him alone, to busy with their own problems. House elves brought him expensive bottles of famous drinks of which Draco didn't care about, he didn't care if it was fancy, if it had alcohol in it he drank it. He wanted the pain to end, and if hiding behind a bottle made it go away who was he to question it?

But the alcohol only worked for a little while. When he was able to down a whole bottle with few side effects he felt betrayed. His one sanctuary had been burned down. He could see every corpse in the Great Hall, he could hear their families' cries, he felt big, watery, blue eyes staring imploringly at him.

So he tried out another haven. One where he avenged the dead by making smooth slits in his wrists. The first cuts were for the people he'd killed. Then as he ran out he made cuts for every casualty of the war.

But the death toll was far too high he would bleed out completely before finishing. So he decided it was time to just end it all. To go and apology to each and every person who had died in the war, on either side.

He put a sticking charm on some rope so it would stay on the ceiling and tied the noose by hand. He took a swig of something and stepped onto the chair. He carefully placed the rope necklace around his neck. He took a shaky breath and took one last look of the outside world.

A girl with curly dark brown hair walking down the street with her friends. She was laughing and smiling.

She wasn't sad. She wasn't angry. She defied everything Draco thought the world was after the war. She glanced up and he saw her eyes. Big and blue. Shining with happiness.

The girl was happy.

Draco slowly unfurled the noose and stepped down. He ran down the many stairs and out the front door. He stumbled over the yard, his lack of food and water making itself known, and eventually he fell behind a well pruned rose bush behind his front gate. The girl was across the street now and walking away from him, but he clearly heard her friends singing Happy Birthday to Astoria.

Astoria. He knew the name, she was Daphne's little sister. Astoria Greengrass. She had always seemed like a part of the background at Hogwarts. He saw her everywhere yet he'd never even spoken to her.

That was going to change. He was going to become presentable and he was going to talk to her. He was going to find out how she could be so utterly happy.

He was so consumed with thoughts of the girl that he didn't even notice a peacock peck his shoulder.


End file.
